Middle-Borns

Making the Middle Birth Order Work¹

1. Nurture your natural people skills. Middle-borns probably have certain people-oriented social skills because of all the negotiating and mediating they had to do while growing up. Use these skills to see both sides and deal with life as it really is.

2. Enjoy your uniqueness. If you are the free-spirit type, fight to keep your unique qualities. Keep in mind that business and companies are often looking for someone with new ideas and the independence to try them.

3. Express yourself. Middle children sometimes feel like no one will listen to them since they may have grown up feeling that their family never listened to them. Instead of apologizing for your opinions, or failing to offer them at all, share your ideas with others.

4. Focus on meaningful relationships. If the “socially skilled, lots of friends” label fits you, rejoice and enjoy it. But don’t spread yourself too thin. No one can maintain a limitless number of relationships and keep them meaningful.

5. Don’t compare. Don’t get sucked into playing comparison games. You understand better than anyone that there are always people who are above or below in terms of ability, interest, appearance, athletic skill, etc. Comparisons are futile and usually pointless.

6. Consider taking the lead. Don’t get the mistaken idea that firstborns are the only people who can rise to positions of leadership. Middle children often make excellent managers and leaders because they understand compromise, negotiation, and giving something for something else (the art of quid pro quo).

¹ Leman, K. (1985). The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are. New York: Dell Publishing, p. 97. Used with permission of Fleming H. Ravell, a division of Baker Book House.